Episode 48 :Three mistakes that I made feeding my children

Episode 48 :Three mistakes that I made feeding my children

Today I share 3 mistakes I've made feeding my children. As a mum of two and a paediatric dietitian with over two decades of experience, I've learned a thing or two about what works (and what doesn't) at mealtimes.

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Links
https://nourishwithkarina.com/feedingbabies
https://nourishwithkarina.com/membership

Highlights:

Easy Feed Podcast Episode 48: Mistakes Made in Child Feeding (00:00.314)
Podcast Summary: Mistakes Made in Child Nutrition (00:32.376)
Understanding the Importance of Healthy and Balanced Parenting (02:43.16)
The Mistake of Focusing on Specific Foods in Children's Eating (04:59.774)
Understanding the Transition from Food Refusal to Food Enjoyment (07:25.13)
Child's Food Acceptance and Enjoyment (09:49.876)
Parenting Food and Its Impact on Children (12:08.386)
Parenting Confidence and Food Variety (14:30.082)
Parental Experience with Frustration with Food (16:52.62)
"Critical Self-Learning and Self-Improving" (19:08.418)
Negative Mindset and Eating Behaviors in Children (21:36.898)
Parenting Strategies for Better Child Feeding (24:03.288)
Parenting Tips for Better Children's Eating (26:25.888)

Show notes

READ TRANSCRIPT

Show Notes

Join me as I share my personal journey and insights on:

1. The Silent Dinner Table: Why talking too much about food can backfire, raising anxiety and hindering their natural curiosity about new foods.

2. Persistence and Mindset Matters: How our attitude affects our children's eating habits

3. Celebrating Baby Steps: Recognising small wins in the feeding journey

Understand the importance of acknowledging and appreciating the tiny milestones in your child's food acceptance process.

4. Pressure-Free Plates: Next steps for creating a positive mealtime environment

I'll explain why these common pitfalls can hinder our children's relationship with food and offer practical tips to overcome them.

We are ALL learning, evolving and growing as parents. It's normal and totally okay to make mistakes – what matters is how we learn from them and move forward.

Show notes:

- For more support with feeding your children, check out my Nourishing Kids Membership: - - -- Explore kid-friendly recipes: https://nourishwithkarina.com/kids-recipes

Let's turn those dinner table battles into joyful family memories!

- Join me inside Nourishing Kids: Nourish with Karina

- Follow me on Instagram for more tips and updates: @NourishWithKarina

Easy Feed Podcast Episode 48: Mistakes Made in Child Feeding (00:00.314)
You're listening to the Easy Feed Podcast, episode number 48, three mistakes that I made feeding my children. Hi there, I'm Karina Savage and with over 20 years experience feeding children, including my own, I've learnt all the secrets that busy mums need to get their children eating better and actually enjoying healthy foods. So a huge welcome to the Easy Feed Podcast.

Podcast Summary: Mistakes Made in Child Nutrition (00:32.376)
Hello, hello. I hope you're well. Today we are talking about three mistakes that I made feeding my children. I like to use this podcast to give you useful information, not just, you know, stuff you could find in textbooks. Not that we use textbooks anymore. Probably Google. That's showing my age, right? At least I didn't say the word encyclopedia. I don't think my children even know what that word means. Hi. I remember being scarred by going to a...

royal show where my parents dragged me to some pavilion and literally we spent, I reckon, an hour in this, what would you call it? this, it was kind of like a marquee inside of one of the trade displays. And it was this encyclopedia company basically. And they sold to my parents these range of encyclopedias, which they did buy. And, you know, they sat on our shelf probably for 20 years and

They've probably got rid of them now because who uses encyclopedias anymore is literally Dr. Google for this or Google for that. So anyway, I've already segued onto another topic, but the tips that I want to give you are not tips that you necessarily will find when you type into Google. And that's because...

I live a learned experience, but as a pediatric dietician with 23 years clinical experience, I like to meld my clinical experience together with my mum experience, which is now 12 years, and serve it up for you on a silver platter so that you don't need to make the same mistakes that I made or

At least you're aware of the mistakes that I've made, the mistakes that you could be currently making because they're very normal mistakes. They're very forgivable mistakes because it's hard not to do them sometimes. But if you're aware of them, at least awareness is the first step to making a difference, making a change, right? And making a change for the better. So I'm going to be talking about three mistakes that I made at dinner time and it all

Understanding the Importance of Healthy and Balanced Parenting (02:43.16)
comes from a place of valuing health and nutrition. I think of not necessarily having enough confidence to stand up to your children. And I certainly have learned that kids really value boundaries. It's really hard sometimes to put those boundaries in place, but they really respond to structure and boundaries.

Even if we feel like sometimes it's really hard to put them in place, kids actually respond once you follow through and are consistent. And this is another thing, you know, the things I talk about today, know, parents and grandparents and carers all need to be consistent with strategies around feeding kids because if one parent is doing one thing and then the other parent's doing another because they've got different views and don't get me started on

conversations around managing feeding and the stress that can then arise at meal times when parents disagree with the best path forward or how to manage fussy eaters. It can be very stressful. And if parents aren't on the same page with how they're feeding their child in their approach is different, then that can really sabotage the plan and make it harder to set up a really positive, effective feeding environment for a child. And we know that

That is the best way to get them eating well. And that's exactly what I talk about in my Nourishing Kids membership, in my Bus Eating program, the three week Feeding Kids Reset, which sits inside my membership. That's exactly why I created the program inside the membership. And that's why I'm here to support parents because it is so hard being a kid sometimes. It's so hard. It's a day in, day out, relentless job for at least 18 years of your life, I'm pretty sure.

And I reckon my kids are going to be hanging around longer than that too. So if we can set things up to make things a little easier around the dinner table, in the kitchen, around meal times, then everyone's going to be better off. Okay. So if we start with my number one, which...

The Mistake of Focusing on Specific Foods in Children's Eating (04:59.774)
I know that I'm guilty of and I know that many, many, many thousands and thousands of parents that I've worked with over the years are also guilty of. So this is a very normal, universal mistake, but it is a mistake, I believe, because it's not going to help children learn to love food. Now, this mistake is talking too much about food, focusing

on particular foods and making a deal about particular foods. Now, it makes sense why we do that, why we say, you know, eat your veggies or why we focus on iron rich foods or particular, you know, break your broccoli or eat your capsicum. We focus on that because we're taught the importance of vegetables or, you know, iron rich foods. So we know how important they are for our children's health.

And we may think that focusing and encouraging our children to eat these foods will actually get them eating them, but nothing could be further from the truth. You see, I think we've got it the wrong way round. In fact, I don't think we've got it the wrong way round. I know we've got it the wrong way round. What if focusing on what they are doing wrong or their lack of actually makes it worse? You know, what it does, it makes it worse. What would happen if we flipped it?

and we focus on the foods that your child is eating well. What if we create a meal time where there is no focus on any particular food and food is just food? Yes, food is just food. We don't put any positive connotations on it. We don't put any negative connotations on it. Food is just food. What if we allowed our children to use their natural curiosity to explore food?

in their own time, in their own way, without pressure? What if we created a positive, non-judgmental environment where they were allowed to do just this? What if we gave them plenty of non-pressurised opportunities to experiment with food in their own messy way and develop a love and a trust for food that way? I talk a lot about this continuum of learning to like a food

Understanding the Transition from Food Refusal to Food Enjoyment (07:25.13)
And it starts at complete and utter food refusal and disgust and it ends in them loving the food and enjoying the healthy food. It's a line. It's like a number line. And there are many little bumps, little jumps, little jumps from left to right that a child needs to move through to get from complete food refusal and disgust to complete food acceptance and enjoyment.

Now parents often don't recognise when a child has taken a little micro step, a little micro jump along that line. We only want to see the end goal. We want to see them eating that damn broccoli because it's good for them. But we don't necessarily acknowledge when they've picked up that food and smooshed it with their fingers that they're actually moving one step closer to liking that food, to trusting that food, to then eventually eating and enjoying that food just like you are.

If we're purely focused on the end goal and we pressure and focus on talking about that food and, then eating that food, we're potentially missing the little micro steps, the little micro jumps that our children are making. And by celebrating those small wins, we then have a bit of, you know, energy in our tank to go, you know what? They're actually getting there. They're moving one step closer to liking that food.

But often we miss that. don't even acknowledge that we're not aware of that. And whether that's because we need to be more mindful, slow down, be more aware about everything in our life. You know, the power of now slowing down awareness, mindfulness, how busy, overwhelmed, over-cluttered lives often create a rushing. And if we slow down and we actually truly observe what's going on,

We may see these micro steps that our kids are taking and we then have the opportunity to celebrate these little wins. You know, one of the lovely members, one of the lovely mums, I should say, in my membership was asking me a question the other day about her little one who made a bowl of beetroot hummus for her. She'd gone to a lot of effort and she put it in front of her and her little one was like, nah. And she was like, well, you know, more for me.

Child's Food Acceptance and Enjoyment (09:49.876)
And I said to her, well, have you tried asking her, like get a bit of paper or use your tray table. Sorry, her tray table. Mum doesn't have a tray table. Get her to stick her fingers in it and do some like painting with your finger, either on paper or on the tray table and draw a funny face, draw a love heart, draw a picture. Cause they're little ones just over two. And I said, why don't we just turn it into an opportunity to have fun?

And that was only yesterday. So I'm going to wait to hear what happens, but she liked that idea. I just thought it's just changing that story a little. It's going from a, they've completely refused it to, well, they might like to dip their finger in it and play, play with it, have fun. I know that my friend's son started to eat blueberries because he would squish them and they'd have that purple color on his finger. And then he would draw with that on his tray table. And that's the way that he.

learn to like blueberries, like the way they felt, like the way they looked, and then eventually ate them. And again, that's just one of those little micro steps along that line from complete and utter food refusal and disgust to complete food acceptives and enjoyment. But we need to recognise that little micro step, that little win. Picking up a food, licking a food,

putting it back down, that is still progress. Biting into it, spitting it out, that is still progress. To a busy parent who just wants their kids to eat well and get dinner done, that might not be progress. That might be super frustrating. Especially when you've spent time going to the shop, you've spent money on the food, you've spent time cooking it, you serve it up and they don't eat it. It can be incredibly infuriating. But we just need to slow down and remember that they've had...

much less time on this earth than us, they need time to learn to like a new food. Not even a new food, they need time to learn to like food full stop, which is what brings me back to my first mistake. Talking about food too much makes it a thing. It makes it a big thing. And the more we make it a thing,

Parenting Food and Its Impact on Children (12:08.386)
the less likely they're going to be to want to try that thing because you've made it a thing. Now know I'm saying the word thing a lot, but you get my drift because if you just showed up to the table and all food was neutral, your child wouldn't be so suspicious about that food. Whereas when you make a big deal about it, it makes them more suspicious and potentially cautious.

can also increase their anxiety and an anxious child is going to put the walls up, they are less likely to want to try that food. When kids are happier, when they're feeling relaxed, they are much more likely to A, observe what you're eating and enjoying. And that subconscious role modeling is hugely powerful. And number two, they're going to be in a much better place.

to touch food, to try food, to want to try food. There's no way that if they're feeling pressured or anxious that they're going to want to try that food. And so often we make them feel that way without wanting to because we talk too much about food. We talk too much about veggies. We talk too much about the iron rich foods. It depends on where your anxiety lies around food. mean, some kids are iron deficient, so parents are really worried about iron rich foods. Some kids...

eat very little veggies, so parents are really worried about veggies. Some kids are overweight, so their parents are worried about anything that goes into their mouth and not anything, but you know, eating overeating, eating too much, eating too many sweets. So then you become hyper anxious about any treat or sweet that goes into their mouth. So we as parents have to be really careful about how much we focus on foods, on whatever particular food, because our external words become their internal words.

And the more we go on about something, the more they retain that. And it can change their perspective on a food. We just need to let them learn about food and not taint their opinion of food by pressuring them, by making a big deal about particular foods. Just let food be food. Just enjoy, connect at meal times and don't talk about food. So that was my number one. My number two.

Parenting Confidence and Food Variety (14:30.082)
really relates to my confidence in parenting, in giving up too early, not offering a food more than a couple of times if my daughter had refused it. And my poor son did not get the variety of foods exposed to him that my daughter did, definitely in the first 18 months, I would say, because

I was so scarred by my daughter's fussiness back then that I would really just serve the family meals. Cause often my husband was getting home late and it was me, the kids, or the kids and I should say, proper English. And I would be sitting there at the IKEA table with my knees up around my ears and the kids either side and the dogs underneath the table waiting for the scraps. And, oh bless my little ostees, not with us anymore, but I saw a picture the other day, you know, when your phone shows you the...

the memories and I didn't even realize he was under the table at the time, but it was, it was a photo of I think the kids eating and I must've got up to get something. I had no idea what I was doing, what the photo was about. anyway, I took the photo and then when I kind of really studied it, I saw his little face, bless him underneath the table waiting for scraps. So, so I would sit with the kids and most of the time the food that I served

was foods that my daughter was going to eat because I just went down that path. I didn't keep offering enough variety because I just don't think I had the confidence to just put it there and get on with it. And maybe I was also time poor and I just cooked what I knew she would eat. So then my son got that same meal as well. And I know for a fact that

Early on with her, she didn't really love, like I made a salmon potato bake and she didn't like it. Well, no surprises, right? Like it was the first or second time she'd ever had it. But I don't think I made it again after that. Cause I was like, ah, she doesn't like it. Cross through it, put across through it and move on. I don't think I gave her a salmon again for years. And same with tuna. I tried tuna more than once, maybe twice. And then I was like, nah, but a line through that too. So.

Parental Experience with Frustration with Food (16:52.62)
Looking back, she just probably didn't like that fishy flavour. But then my son loves it. And he really didn't get exposed to much tuna or salmon at all until he was much older because I never really cooked it because I'd made the story in my head that she didn't like it.

Well, she didn't like it the first few times, but really I had not given it enough goes. So I'd made the story up in my head and I'd given up too early. So if I did it all again, I would have definitely given her way more exposures. And I probably would have just done it in the smaller man on the side rather than it being the main meal. You know, I talk a lot in my membership, my Fussy Eating program, the three week feeding kids reset.

about how we set up an effective feeding environment, about how we set up safe foods and test foods and learning plates and no thank you bowls and how we do all of that so that bit by bit we chip away in a positive way. We stay motivated because my goodness me, it can be so soul destroying when kids keep refusing all this food, not to mention the waste and the waste of money and time and energy. So I would definitely have offered, or if I do it again,

If I did it again, I'm not having another baby, but if I did it again, I would definitely, for her and my son, those foods that they refused more often and multiple times, many, many times, rather than just giving up after a couple of times. So as I said, this exact struggle is what I help parents with, I help mums with every day inside my Nourishing Kids membership.

And my three week Feeding Kids Reset program, which sits inside my membership, is exactly what you need if you are struggling with setting up an effective meal time. If you're struggling with fussy eaters who won't seem to start to try new foods. Or if you need to find a new perspective on feeding kids, if you need motivation on what to feed them, how to set it up, how to talk about food with your kids.

"Critical Self-Learning and Self-Improving" (19:08.418)
then please check out my membership. It's at nourishwithKarina.com forward slash membership. We'll pop the link in the show notes. Okay. Let's move on to my third mistake that I have made. And look, I'm happy to be critical with myself because you know, it's all about self-learning and self-discovery and self-improvement and it's a work in progress, right? I think, you know, we need to acknowledge our weaknesses and acknowledge our strengths and

Continue on. So for me, number three is similar in a way, but slightly different to number two. Number two, I talked about not offering enough repetition and giving up too early. Number three really relates to my approach, my mindset with feeding. You know, when I cooked or when I prepared food,

for my daughter and I'd have a fleeting, fleeting thought of, I should, I should try this. And then all of a sudden it would be stomped out by my brain, by the dominant part of my brain that would say, she's not going to eat that. Don't even bother. And I know that because of that, I didn't offer her enough repetition. And so the two really go together, but

I just wanted to elaborate, but they're slightly different because one is the thought and one is the action. So really the thought precedes the action. So I probably should have number three before number two, but that's okay. You understand me. So it's the thought, it's the belief that they're not going to try it. They're not going to eat it. It's a waste of my time.

They're a fussy eater. And actually I need to talk a little bit about that too. Our words, how we talk about our children to other people really counts. Catch yourself. If you start talking to your friend in your child's in earshot, do not talk about them being a fussy eater in front of them. Because remember your external words become their internal words and then you are creating this self-perpetuating disaster of fussy eating at meal times. So that mindset of...

Negative Mindset and Eating Behaviors in Children (21:36.898)
They're not gonna eat it. It's a negative mindset. You turn up to the table almost defeated. You've written the meal off before you've even started. And you've pretty much labeled them with the, they're not gonna eat it. So your body language, the way you talk about food, the way you show up to the meal if you're eating with them, it's all negative. It's all defeatist. It's all around, they're not gonna eat it. They're a fussy eater. I'm just gonna serve what they're gonna eat.

Kids are absolute sponges. Okay. They are vibrational beings. They absorb all of this. They pick up on all of our cues. They pick up on cues you don't even realize that they're picking up on. All the subconscious, all the nonverbal behaviors, they pick up all of those. And so if you're anxious, you're stressed, if you're worried, if you're talking too much about food, if you've basically written off the meal before, you know, they've even...

had a chance to eat it, it's very negative energy and they're going to pick up on all of that. So we really need to try to be more open-minded. And again, this is a mistake that I've made. Trying to be more open-minded is so powerful because then it makes you more playful. Then it's like, well, hey, let's do this. Let's do this differently. And of course, you know, I do things very differently nowadays and my kids eat really well nowadays, but it's been a journey. And that's why I'm here to share those mistakes with you.

So being more open-minded means offering them new test foods on their plate that you're eating that in the past you perhaps wouldn't have even offered them because you're like, they're not going to eat it. Whereas now you're like, well, you know what they might, and I might even put a cool toothpick with it, or I might make a little face out of it, or I might just not say anything and just eat it and enjoy it front of them and see what happens. Or I might say, do you to become a food scientist? Or I might say...

Try and squirt me with the juice of this capsicum, making it fun, drawing a little face with, you know, beetroot hummus. Once we calm down, once we slow down, once we open our mind to the fact that they actually may touch it, it, taste it, if we change our mindset, then a whole new world of food can open up to them because you're not judging them, you're not just serving them the same food, you're not coming to the table with a negative attitude.

Parenting Strategies for Better Child Feeding (24:03.288)
You perhaps coming to the table much lighter, happier, maybe you do a pop quiz, you know, all of these strategies I talk about inside my three week feeding kids reset to set up a better feeding environment so that your child has the best opportunity to expand their intake over time. And it's over time, it's not yesterday. But remember, we have to pick up and acknowledge we have to observe.

We have to be present enough to observe those little micro steps, those little achievements along that continuum of learning to like a new food or any food. And once you start celebrating those small wins, you become more positive about how you're feeding your child, knowing that they are getting it. They will get there over time. So talking about food too much, making a big thing about it is one of my mistakes.

Only offering a new food, you know, twice is one of my mistakes. And not being open-minded, writing the meal off before it even began is one of my mistakes. And not being open-minded then leads to that lack of repetition, that lack of offering of those foods because you just feel defeated. And it's very normal to feel that way when you're busy.

Single parenting, perhaps. It's hard work. But at the end of the day, if you can be a little bit lighter, you can be a little bit happier, a little bit more open-minded. Just show up to the mealtime. Food is food. Connect with your kids. Don't talk about the food. See what happens. You may be really pleasantly surprised that doing this over the weeks and the months

really changes the vibe at the dinner table, really changes the approach that your children take to eating. It's hard and I still catch myself saying, well, you just eat your broccoli, just have a bite. So don't be hard on yourself if you're still saying that, but I just want you to be aware that doing that too much, focusing too much on food, pressuring too much, it's all gonna work against the grand plan.

Parenting Tips for Better Children's Eating (26:25.888)
of our children eating better. So I hope that's been a little helpful insight into three mistakes that I've made feeding my children. Any mistakes can always be improved on, resolved, undone to a certain degree, depending on how bad the mistake. But just know that you are a great parent and know you love your kids very much. Just listening to this podcast means that you're invested in their health and nutrition and you

want to do the right thing by them. So know that you're doing well. It doesn't matter if you get take away sometimes or three times this week, there is no judgment. We're all a work in progress, right? But I'll say this. If you've got fussy eaters that are driving you nuts, then do pay attention to those three mistakes that I discussed because if you can get your head around them,

and make some changes there, make some improvements there, it will absolutely be a game changer for you and your children. Not necessarily today or this month, but over time, it will absolutely be a game changer and it will change the vibe and the energy at the dinner table and your kids will start to enjoy meal times more if they're not at the moment.

And that's really what you want to do at the end of the day. You want your children to, you know, when they're teenagers or adults, look back and have fond memories of that time together connecting at the dinner table. Not memories of being scarred like I have had one 55 year old lady say to me, I'm still scarred by being forced to eat green soggy beans every dinner time. You want your kids to look back and have really fond memories of connecting with you guys. I'll wrap it up there.

I hope you have a beautiful week and I will chat to you soon. Bye for now.