Episode 63 : Comparisonitis and our mental load as mums

Episode 63 : Comparisonitis and our mental load as mums

I want to take a moment to acknowledge all the incredible mums out there. Whether it’s Mother’s Day or just another busy day, the role you play in your family’s life is nothing short of amazing. Today, I’m diving deep into something we all struggle with—comparisonitis—and the mental load we carry as mums. It’s all too easy to get caught up in comparing ourselves to others, whether it’s how we look, what our kids are eating, or the seemingly perfect lives we see online. This episode will help you realise that you’re doing an incredible job, even if it feels like it’s never enough.

Links
https://nourishwithkarina.com/feedingbabies
https://nourishwithkarina.com/membership

Highlights:

Introduction (00:00.113)
The Invisible Load & the Comparison Trap: A Shoutout to Mums Everywhere (02:25.176)
The Comparison Trap: Why Mums Need to Stop Being So Hard on Themselves (04:45.632)
The Mental Load Is Real: Why Mums Deserve More Credit (and Less Comparison) (07:03.16)
What’s Wrong with My Kid? The Comparison Spiral We All Fall Into (09:26.552)
Overwhelmed and Doubting Yourself? You’re Not Alone (11:50.626)
There Is a Way Out: How to End the Food Battles and Find Feeding Freedom (14:08.718)
When You’re Running on Empty: Breaking the Guilt-Snack-Stress Cycle (16:31.02)
The Calm in the Chaos: Why Your Wellbeing Sets the Tone for the Whole Family (18:43.788)
You’re Not Failing—You’re Just Tired: Small Shifts to Lighten the Mental Load (21:06.452)
Brain Dump and Breathe: Let Go of Perfect (23:31.15)
You're Not a Bad Mum—You're Just Human (25:53.794)
Prioritize One Small Thing—for You (28:17.304)
Recognize the Voice That Doesn’t Serve You (30:32.438)
Prioritize Sleep (and Say No to Doom Scrolling) (33:00.588)
Lighten the Load Where You Can (35:17.25)
A Little Note to Wrap Up (37:33.994)

Show notes

READ TRANSCRIPT

Show Notes

In this episode, I discuss:

Comparisonitis
How exhausting it can be.and why it's so important to recognise when it’s happening and how to break the cycle.
The Mental Load of Motherhood
Mums often wear multiple hats every day. I dive into how managing your family's needs can feel overwhelming, and how to lighten the load.
Why Perfection is Overrated
It's easy to feel like you're failing when things aren’t perfect. I discuss why embracing imperfection is key to better mental health and parenting.
Filling up our Cup
We all need a little self-care. I share some strategies to carve out time for yourself, even if it’s just a few minutes a day.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or doubting yourself, take a moment to breathe and remember that you’re doing the best you can. Your kids are loved, they’re fed, and they’re thriving. And that’s what matters.

Show Notes:

More about Karina and Nourishing Kids!

📒 Grab Karina’s Time Saving Healthy Supermarket Kids Snacks Guide now for the INTRO offer https://karina-savage.mykajabi.com/offers/GkPU49mj

Karina's popular Nourishing Kids lifts the "food stress" load, giving mums a clear plan to get kids trying new healthy foods and guidance on how to feed their family more easily! Learn more here https://nourishwithkarina.com/nourishingkids

Karina is a regular on Channel 7, Sunrise. Check out her segments here: https://nourishwithkarina.com/press

For online consultations & personalised support. Click here https://nourishwithkarina.com/nutrition-consultation

Karina's popular Kids Food Reviews are here https://nourishwithkarina.com/food-reviews

If you have a Fussy Eater, register for Karina's online training and learn the 3 Essential Steps required to end fussy eating. https://nourishwithkarina.easywebinar.live/endfussyeating

Introduction (00:00.116)
You're listening to the Easy Feed podcast episode number 63, Comparisonitis. Hi there, I'm Karina Savage and with over 20 years experience feeding children, including my own, I've learnt all the secrets that busy mums need to get their children eating better and actually enjoying healthy foods. So a huge welcome to the Easy Feed podcast. Hi there, how are you? I hope you're well.

Welcome back to another episode of the Easy Feed. Today I wanted to make a special mention to all our special mothers out there, which, you know, are you, of course, the ones who listen to my podcast, but it's been Mother's Day in Australia and I hope you had a beautiful Mother's Day. I hope that you had a little time to yourself at least, or I you felt loved. And if you didn't want time to yourself and you just wanted to spend the whole day with your family and feel very

I guess, loved and cherished by your family. Hopefully you didn't have too many arguments. Hopefully they all behaved for you because sometimes we can just go through the day to day, the week to week and you know, it can feel relentless and hopefully they are grateful and show you gratitude throughout the weeks and the months. But sometimes it takes special days like Mother's Day to actually get the thanks that you

should be getting every day and the things that you deserve because as mums, I feel like we are the glue that sticks everything together in the family, right? And look, this is not to say that dads don't play an incredibly special role in a family. They of course do. And sometimes it's the dads that are at home gluing everything together, including literally things that have been ripped. We've got a new puppy, a rip by the dog, but...

Often it is the mums and I wanted to dedicate this episode to our special mums. It's been Mother's Day and I wanted to just talk about how we can lighten our mental load a little because by golly, there's a lot of things that can go through our mind every second, every minute, every day. And it can be quite exhausting when you actually unpack and go, wow. Yep.

The Invisible Load & the Comparison Trap: A Shoutout to Mums Everywhere (02:25.176)
thought about that, that went through my mind. It's, it's crazy to think about what our brain has to process every single day, every single minute. And I just wanted to take a moment to actually acknowledge what we do because it's a pretty amazing, phenomenal job being a mum, you know, and often we're working as well. So I just wanted to make a special mention and acknowledgement of.

our role in going into a little more detail in a minute, but also talk about something that can be quite debilitating for us as mums. You know, I don't think anyone escapes it and it's comparisonitis. The disease, the virus that is comparing yourself to others. And no matter how much you try not to do it,

You, I'm sure would still be doing it in some capacity and we do it so subconsciously without even realizing it. my goodness, whether it's, you you drop your child at the bus stop in the morning and it's how you look in the mirror when you're sitting in the car and you're like, my gosh, you know, I'm like the worst looking mother that's dropping their kid off to the bus stop. Or whether when you get home and you're preparing your other child's lunchbox and.

their lunchboxes all white and you're like, my God, my child's got the worst lunchboxes so much, you know, poor in nutrition than any other child or, know, then you jump in the shower and you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, my gosh, my butt's so fat. Like, you know, it's not nearly as trim as such and such at school or such and such at work or now look, I'm not saying that you are doing this, but they're just examples of how without even realizing so often we are comparing ourselves.

multiple times an hour to others. And every time we compare ourselves, it usually brings us down. We very rarely would compare ourselves to someone who we feel that we are doing better than. It's generally because we feel like we are not doing a good enough job. We're too hard on ourselves and we compare ourselves and then we bring ourselves down. And that's human nature, right?

The Comparison Trap: Why Mums Need to Stop Being So Hard on Themselves (04:45.632)
It's human nature, but it does not serve us. And it's really important to be mindful of when you are comparing yourself, because if you're doing a lot, then you have got comparison items and you need to be mindful of it because trying to reduce the number of times that you're comparing yourself to others, trying to reduce the number of times that you're comparing your child to others as well. Like, my gosh, my child is, you know, larger than their friends. My child is slower than their friends.

My child doesn't eat any meat or iron rich foods compared to their friends. Or my baby is not eating solids, solids meals a day compared to the others in my mother's group. Or my baby isn't crawling yet because the others are and what's wrong with them? You know, there's so many times when we compare either ourselves or our children's abilities or intakes or physical appearance or whatever it might be to others.

And it's just not healthy. So I just want to make a special mention of this because we do it. I'm sure you're all doing it. I do it daily. I'm sure I do. I'm just not being mindful of it at the moment, but after this podcast, I probably will be more mindful of it because you know, it's good to be, it's good to be aware because every time you do it, you're bringing yourself down and we don't need.

any other negativity in our life. We've got enough going on, right? We need to be supporting ourselves somehow. We need to be lifting ourselves up and giving ourselves a pat on the back, which is what I wanted to talk about in this podcast as well, because really we, I feel, and yes, for the dads that are home carrying the load for the family, then you would experience a similar thing.

But you know, as I said, a lot of the time it is moms and we are the planners. We are the organizers. We register our kids with all those try booking links. We are the fixes when something gets broken or the dog chew something or someone runs past something and something gets knocked over and it needs super glue. We are the nurturers. If they've cut themselves, we give them a hug. We stick a bandaid on it. We take them to the doctor.

The Mental Load Is Real: Why Mums Deserve More Credit (and Less Comparison) (07:03.16)
to when they're sick, you know, we pay the bills. Well, I mean, not all of us do all of these things. And, you know, it's great when our partners and husbands and wives and whatever take the load as well. But we are often picking up so many things. mean, we are wearing so many hats. We do the washing, we go to the supermarket, we do the online shop, we put the food away, we prepare the food, we feed kids, we wash the dishes. Like we...

We do so many things. feed the dog, we walk the dog, we call our parents, we send the Mother's Day presents or we organize the gatherings, we host our friends, we go to social agreements, we keep up with a thousand gazillion WhatsApp groups and messages every day. And you know, if you're one of those parents that also helps out, you're a homeroom parent or you're an age group manager for soccer or for netball or you're coaching your kids cricket team. my gosh, the list goes on.

So we are wearing so many hats all of the time. And when we layer that, we're comparing ourselves and bringing ourselves down. It just does not serve us. And it just adds to our mental load each day. And it's not fair. So look, if you're listening to this and you're like, Karina, I don't compare myself. Well, that's amazing. You are one of the minority because most of us are doing it daily. And it's that voice, that little voice in your head.

that brings you down too often and it's just not fair. So I just want you to be really mindful of that because from now on, every time you hear that voice going, my gosh, the lunchbox is terrible again, or I forgot to book tickets to the school play and now we've missed out or my gosh, why am I cooking three different dinners? I'm the worst cook ever. All of those little voices in your head.

just bringing you down. So, you know, there's always going to be people that are appearing to have it all together that are doing, you know, in your eyes, better than you. They're serving, you know, that they are the class parent. They are the parent that, you know, makes the Easter hat from scratch or the book parade, book week costume from scratch, or that their child does it really well or.

What’s Wrong with My Kid? The Comparison Spiral We All Fall Into (09:26.552)
You know, their child might be house captain or again, if it's for the little ones, their baby is eating, you know, three solid meals a day by eight months of age and thriving and there's no fussing eating and you know, their kids pooing beautifully. They're sleeping through the night. know, there are all the types of scenarios that we compare ourselves to all the time. You go out for dinner with your friends and your child's just sitting there eating either a plain bowl of rice, a plain bowl of pasta.

or a plain bowl of hot chips because that is all they will eat. And there you've got your friends, kids eating their steak and their broccoli or the salad. And again, you go into comparisonitis mode because you're like, what is wrong with my child? What have I done wrong? I failed them. And the blah, blah, blah, blah, the story that then goes on and plays on in your mind continues. And again, it's just not serving you, but it's so easy to do. So I just wanted to bring attention to it because

As a mom, you are, I'm positive doing the best you can every single day. So many moms now are working half time, full time, having to work, having to feed, run the family, having to run kids around between sporting commitments and all sorts of like, could be choir. could be who knows what, you know, our kids are doing more than ever, feel. Social engagements, play dates, you know.

playground play dates, there's so much that goes on these days. I feel like it's a lot more than it used to be when I was growing up. I remember when I was growing up, all I remember doing, and I don't know if I led a very deprived childhood, I don't think I did. I felt very loved and I feel like had a great childhood, but I just remember walking around our local area, which is pretty safe, just picking flowers. I remember.

Sitting in the tree house in my almond tree, just eating almonds with my friend, just chatting. I don't really remember having amazing play dates anywhere apart from my house or just perhaps walking around the suburbs. And I just feel like we do so much now with our kids and perhaps that just adds to our stress. And I know it, I probably created a road for my own back with setting up too much of that kind of thing.

Overwhelmed and Doubting Yourself? You’re Not Alone (11:50.626)
with my kids because it just pulls you in too many directions. I think, yes, I'm too much of a yes mum. And it just adds to your daily mental load. What I also see a lot of in parents that I work with is self doubt and self doubt and confusion. So self doubt in what they are doing in terms of feeding their child or baby, how to do it properly.

They don't want to stuff it up. They don't want to muck up their child for the rest of their life. And they worry that they are doing the wrong thing. And they're also confused because there's so much stuff out there online in terms of what you should be feeding your child or your baby, how you start solids, how you manage fussy eating. my goodness. There is so much stuff out there. And, know, often, you know, a lot of it is the cookie cutter stuff and

It's really frustrating because I feel like parents are just inundated with information these days and it's just overwhelming. And you just sometimes need someone to give you one clear plan, cut through all the clutter and, and stop the confusion because being confused then

I think only exacerbates the self doubt because you're like, do I do this? Do I do this? Do I do this? I've tried this, but I'm not sure I'm failing my child. And then you compare yourself to others. It just goes on and on. And look, this is why I created Nourishing Kids so that I can give you the clear single plan for how to feed your baby or your child effectively, how to improve their nutrition. And I think it's really important that parents have that single source of quality nutrition advice.

to cut through any confusion and to boost confidence because self-doubt is huge as a parent in every aspect, I think. You know, there's no rule book with how to get your child to sleep properly or to eat properly or to poo properly. And you need advice, you need help. But sometimes when you go looking for help, you get so overwhelmed and confused. And that's where it's really important just to try and find one

There Is a Way Out: How to End the Food Battles and Find Feeding Freedom (14:08.718)
quality professional to listen to whether it's to do with sleep or whether it's to do with nutrition. And that's, think, going to help reduce confusion, help reduce self-doubt too, because you follow what they say and then you're like, this is what I need to do. And it gives you more confidence there. And then I think you're also comparing yourself less because you're feeling less vulnerable. You know what to do. You've got a plan. When we have kids, we're often sleep deprived.

And that only exacerbates everything as well. So we are so tired that we're reaching for crappier food and that's not good. And then we feel bad about ourselves because we're not eating properly. for a second to let you know about something very important. If your child's eating is driving you nuts, it might be time for a new feeding plan. A plan that gets your kids eating well with no battles or bribes at the table. If you're a busy, time poor mum who's tried...

everything to get a child to eat better, but nothing is working, then listen up. It's not your fault, but there is a new way, light at the end of the tunnel. I've been there and I know that there is a new way. The thing is there's no feeding kids rule book, which is exactly why I've used my 23 years experience as a pediatric dietician and 12 years experience as a mother, including my own fasciitis, to create my own method to improve my children's eating habits and nutrition that actually works.

I've helped thousands of parents over the past 23 years to improve their children's eating habits and reduce the stress and burden of feeding. The mum guilt is real. I get it. Creating a healthy feeding plan is the only way to get your child eating healthier and end the food stress and worry for good. The feeding burden is so real. It's so overwhelming. I've felt it. I've lived it. But I want you to know that there is

Absolutely hope that things will change for you. It did for me and I know that it can for you too. I'm here to stop your food stress, boost your feeding confidence and end the battles for good. I'm here to give you freedom from worry, frustration, overwhelm at meal times from the battles and the bribes, freedom from it all. Click below in the show notes to take your step towards feeding freedom. All right, let's get back into it.

When You’re Running on Empty: Breaking the Guilt-Snack-Stress Cycle (16:31.02)
And then we're so tired, we just throw our kids another packet of rice crackers and then they're not eating properly. And then we feel guilty about that. And then we see a post on Instagram where you've got all these beautiful colors of the rainbow and kids eating well. then, then you compare yourself to that and it makes you feel even worse that your kids eating just another packet of white food. They won't eat the color food and how do get them to eat the color food and are they iron deficient and the worry creeps in and it's just as...

vicious cycle, as I said, and it's really important to recognise when sleep deprivation is also impacting on your mental health and comparing with others and how you're feeling as a parent because it's really hard to get it all right. And we shouldn't expect ourselves to get it right. I don't think we should ever expect our children to.

eat the perfect dinner or eat the perfect lunchbox. Cause that's not real life, but it's about getting it right more of the time and trying to include, you know, as many healthy foods in our kid's life as possible. But we shouldn't be aiming for perfection because if we're aiming for perfection, we will set ourselves up to fail. And then that just makes us feel even worse. And as I said, we go around in this cycle. So I think it's important to recognize when you're tired or the kids are tired, because when they're tired,

They're going to eat more poorly as well. so sleep can definitely play a role. when you're sleep deprived and you're emotional, maybe you've got your period, maybe, you know, you've had an argument with your partner, maybe work stressing you to the eyeballs. Everything just gets exacerbated even more. You can understand why the cracks start to appear and why we start to actually lose it and why we start to have a glass of wine in the evening or when.

needing a third coffee before 11 AM because I guess it's just a coping mechanism, right? And that's where it's so important that as moms, we have tools to cope, right? We have things that we can do that fill up our bucket because we really need to make sure that we are calming our nervous system, putting some energy back into us because if we are

The Calm in the Chaos: Why Your Wellbeing Sets the Tone for the Whole Family (18:43.788)
What's keeping the ship afloat, we need to keep it together and we need to look after ourselves. You know, they always say you got to put your oxygen mask on first before you put anyone else's oxygen mask on. That's what they say on the safety demos on the planes. And you know, it's quite a good analogy because we really have to make sure that we are functioning. That's why they say mums never have time to get sick because you know, if mums get sick, then everything falls apart. So.

is really important just to pause and go, okay, well, how is my mental load and my nervous system and my cortisol levels and my stress level? How is that impacting everyone in the family? I caught up with a friend just before and she has been on, well, she's actually between jobs. She's taking a good couple of months off and she's probably, I'd say three to four weeks now into her.

break in between her jobs and her jobs are full time there, high intensity, high cortisol levels. She was in her last job quite stressed, leaving for work very early in the morning, you know, having to get the house sorted, the kids sorted, husband's picking up, you know, the load as well where he can, lots going on, high stress, right? And it was really interesting chatting to her this morning about how she is just so much calmer.

The whole house is just so much calmer. The kids are calmer. Husband's calmer because he's having less work to do. can't, not less work in terms of he's still got his job, but he's not having to pick up all the extra load for the family chores, the running the kids around. It could be preparing a lunchbox. It could be, you know, picking up a child from school and taking them to netball, you know, all those extra things because my friends are able to do it.

at the moment and she's able to go to school functions and cook with her child more. it's, it's actually a really special time for her, but it was interesting to hear her say how calmer the whole family was because she was a lot calmer and her mental health was a lot better. So it just really reinforces how when we start to lose it, the whole family unit is affected.

You’re Not Failing—You’re Just Tired: Small Shifts to Lighten the Mental Load (21:06.452)
And sometimes we don't even realize that it's happening because we are so in the thick of it. It's, it's just a way of life, right? And that is life. I'm not saying that we should judge ourselves for that because that's unavoidable. But if you're feeling like this is you and you are, do suffer Comparitonitis and you are suffering self-doubt and you're feeling like crap and you're feeling like a bad mom and you're feeling like you've failed your children.

Then I think it's important to come up with just a couple of things that you can do to lift your load a little and just fill up your couple a little just to give you that moment of I'm okay. I've got this. I'm not failing. I'm actually doing well. You know, I'm doing the best I can. I'll get there. Everyone's going to be alive. Everyone's going to do well. Everyone's going to be okay. I think it's just important to.

Remind yourself that everything's going to be okay. The kids are still living, they're still breathing, they are loved. They have a roof over their head. They are fed. They are going to have a great life. Okay. No matter how much you feel like you're failing now or how much self doubt you have, the kids, they will be okay. And I think it's really important to remember that life is messy and it's not perfect and feeding kids is messy and

Everything can get really messy, but it will also get better. And there are many things that we can do that are simple strategies that can improve your child's eating habits overnight. Right. And that's of course what I talk to parents about inside nourishing kids, know, give them those strategies. But aside from the food, I think it's also important that we just look at those small shifts that will help lighten the mental load. So.

I've got some tips for you and really you can take or leave them. It's up to you, but they're just some things to think about and you might like one of them. might like seven of them. might like none of them, but that's okay. It's just giving you some ideas and food for thought and just some ways that you can slightly fill up your cup and just have that, you know, slight feeling of I've got this. It's going to be okay. Not, my God, everything's falling apart.

Brain Dump and Breathe: Let Go of Perfect (23:31.15)
Sometimes it could feel like that all the time. Okay. So one thing that I actually really like to do at the end of the day, and I really think this helps set me up for the next day. And it also just kind of gets it all out of your brain at the end of the day is like a mental unload or dump. So everything that you want to get done still, you just write it out and then you can prioritize them like, you know, one to five, one to 10.

Just write it out, write it for tomorrow and it doesn't have to happen tomorrow, but if it's written out, it's out of your brain. You then don't have to keep circling it in your brain as you're going to sleep, as you're trying to sleep, because you want to get to sleep. You want to have good quality sleep. You don't want to be waking up worrying about, I going to forget to, I don't know, order the lunch tomorrow or pick up the new winter uniform or to book those school disco tickets or to, you know,

email and an important work email or whatever it is, just try and dump it all down. So then it's cleared out of your head. Okay. So then you can get better sleep because better sleep is really important. I want you to embrace imperfection. And this is something that I'm still working on. I think back to when my kids were younger and we used to have play dates, you know, my daughter was in preschool and I always used to feel like I had to have a really tidy house. And if I.

didn't, and it looked like I was just a mess and not coping. And when I look back at that, I'm like, why did I put so much pressure on myself to have the clean house? Because all of our houses were messy all the time. had toddlers, had preschoolers, you know, embracing the imperfection is really important for our stress levels because otherwise we just push ourselves over the edge trying to have everything perfect when that's not real life. And then what is that?

make the other person feel like when they roll up and at their house, they've got stuff everywhere and they get to your house and it's like this perfect tidy home. But that's not normally the case. So I think embracing imperfection is really important. And this is definitely important with feeding kids because we can be really hard on ourselves. My child's not eating all the colors of the rainbow. My child won't even eat two vegetables. They...

You're Not a Bad Mum—You're Just Human (25:53.794)
We'll eat a bit of fruit. They won't eat any iron rich foods. They only love white bread. You know, all of these imperfect ways of eating that again, we can be hard on ourselves because our child's not eating well. We draw this direct line between our child's eating habits and our ability as a mum. And that's not fair. We shouldn't be rating our ability as a parent.

based on how our child is eating, but we do it so often and we, we draw comparisons as well with other things. And I know I feel like a bad parent when my child has too much screen time. And I know that I'm not a bad parent, but I absolutely feel like a bad parent when I'm not strict enough, when I'm not firm enough, when I just let him have too much screen time. And I feel like a really bad parent. And I know that many, many times I've had mums.

I've been working now as a pediatric dietician for 24 years and I have had so many moms, especially in tears, on the phone, in my rooms, online, feel like they have failed their child because their child is not eating well. And I know, and I know firsthand, I've had a fussy eater, I know that we draw a direct line to our ability as a parent based on how our child is eating and it's not fair. So I think we really need to try and embrace imperfection.

Because that's what real life is and it's going to make us feel a whole lot better about ourselves. And that's really important. Okay. The next one I think is really important if you can. look, I'm a big believer in breathing. Breathing, just even stopping whilst you're listening to this and just trying to take four big breaths, know, breathe into the count of four, breathe out.

count of four and if you can do four big breaths or five big breaths or two big breaths of just breathing really centers you. It really does. And look, if you have the opportunity to meditate once a day, even if it's for 10 minutes, five minutes, if you can go to a yoga class or you just sit there and you just slow your breathing, that can really help regulate the nervous system and just reduce the cortisol levels and just make you feel.

Prioritize One Small Thing—for You (28:17.304)
better instantly. So it's really important to try to find some time to breathe because it can really make a difference. Another thing I think that's really important is to try to prioritize one thing for yourself each day. Whether it's literally a five or 10 minute walk around the block, whether it's just sitting down to a proper lunch.

finishing a hot cup of tea. remember when I had little ones, my goodness, trying to finish a hot cup of tea was near impossible. Actually, I found out about a, apparently it's a Kmart cup of tea warming little thing that you plug it into the PowerPoint and it's this little heat pad that you can put your mug on as a heat warmer. And like a mug warmer, I should say. It sounds fantastic. I wish I'd known about that when I had babies, cause you know.

trying to have a hot cup of tea and finish a hot cup of tea is near impossible. So just prioritizing one thing, saying no to an unnecessary task that you don't need to do or a commitment that you really feel like maybe you should, but you just say no to it so that you have a minute for yourself. Like sit there, peace and quiet, say no to that extra thing because you just need to prioritize you.

and you time so that you can keep it all together. Maybe burn a candle. Maybe just cuddle up with your dog for a couple of minutes, whatever it is, just try to prioritize you even if it's just for a couple of minutes, because doing that can just fill up your cup a fraction and just give you that bit more longevity. and I think it also.

increases your tolerance because you've just had a little something for yourself. So you're less likely to snap in an instant if something annoys you. Because I noticed that the tighter I get and the more stressed or frustrated I get, you know, it's easy to snap and say the wrong thing too easily. And it's, it's important to try just to have that bit of tolerance. And I think finding a little something for yourself can just help.

Recognize the Voice That Doesn’t Serve You (30:32.438)
You build your tolerance as a mum. Okay. The next one is recognizing that voice of self doubt or comparisonitis. So both of those are not going to serve you. And it's really important to recognize it and to stop yourself and go, you know what? I am enough. I'm doing the best I can. My kids are going to be fine. So whatever age your child is, whether they're a baby, whether they're at preschool, whether they're

You know, primary school, high school, whatever you're feeling bad or guilty about, just stop it because it's not serving you. The only way is up. Like you can always find simple changes to make that will help. And I'm certainly here to help you with that, but stop being hard on yourself because it's not going to serve you and it's not going to get you anywhere. It's not going to change anything you being hard on yourself. It's not like things are going to magically change. So just stop it because it's just.

rubbish, it's just noise in your head that's not serving you. And you just need to replace that with, know what, I'm doing the best I can, I am enough, we will get there. Those three things, or whatever your affirmation wants to be, or whatever you want your affirmation to be. But it's really important just to stop the self doubt and the self comparison and all of that, the stuff that makes us feel crappy and brings us down. Okay. Get to bed earlier.

This has been a big one for me. I'm still working on it, but it's actually really been, I guess, fast tracked now that my daughter has just started high school. She has all of these early morning commitments, three days a week minimum. We are out the door by 6.30, which means I have to have lunch boxes done by 6.20, which is way earlier than I would have. And I've always been one of those mums that does the lunch boxes on the morning. And so.

For me, it's been a much earlier start consistently every day. I am now trying to get into a routine as well as doing yoga once or twice a week. And that's early morning as well. So because we've got so many early morning starts, it's actually forcing me to go to bed early because I'm just exhausted. Whereas previously I was burning the candle up until probably, you know, somewhere in the 11s, sometimes 12s, mostly 11s, but.

Prioritize Sleep (and Say No to Doom Scrolling) (33:00.588)
Going to bed earlier is going to make everybody feel better. Everybody feel happier, more rested. And it's really important to say no to things. Try not to sit on the couch doom scrolling. Look, I'm the first to say I need my me time on the couch. Even if it's for 10 minutes, I just need it. It's that psychological need as a mama or as a parent. I just need it. Whatever time my kids go to bed, I just need that me time.

No matter how small, it's just psychological. So I still need that, but I think it's really important to try and prioritize not just sitting there doom scrolling for ages, prioritize getting into bed, getting to sleep earlier, because you're just going to feel so much better for it. if you're like me and that's been a real weakness and cause for you to be too tired the next day, then.

Perhaps that's a priority for you. Try and get to bed a bit earlier and you're going to feel better for it. And it's just about creating that new habit, right? That's the hardest part, getting through that first perhaps four to six weeks of getting to bed earlier and then creating that new habit will hopefully then stick. And then you're just feeling better and more energetic for it. And hopefully because you're feeling better, you're then less hard on yourself and less negative. There are apps that you can use on.

you know, search the app store for simple meditation or breath work, because they can offer the opportunity to have like short practices to help quieten the mental noise and just to help breathe. So that could be another way that you could practice intentional breath work, just calming the body, calming the mind. So it's just important to try and prioritize it. If you think this will be beneficial for you, prioritize that.

10 minutes of breathing a day, whatever's going to be beneficial for you, it's important that you start to schedule that in just like you would schedule in a dentist appointment or a parentage interview. Schedule that in and that's going to again help fill up your cup. So one more one I've got for you is do everything that is going to help lighten your weekly load.

Lighten the Load Where You Can (35:17.25)
So for me, and I don't always do this, but I know it does lighten the load is if I menu plan and on a Sunday, I plan out three or four meals for the week and we do an online order and I've got those ingredients so I can cook those meals. Gee, it helps when you're at five o'clock on that night and you're like, my gosh, what am I going to cook? Cause you've planned what you're going to cook and you've got the food in the fridge or the pantry. So it just makes it a lot easier. It just lessens the load.

Now that's not lessening, you know, self-talk or noise or anything like that, but it's going to lessen the stress of feeding kids that week. Embracing canned food, tinned food, know, baked beans on toast or scrambled eggs. As I said before, imperfection is what we're aiming for, not perfection. So.

Any of those cheap meals can still be a nutritious dinner. It doesn't have to be a home cooked meat and three veg or curry or pasta or, you know, again, what you see on social media. Just keep it simple. Try and keep it balanced. And at the end of the day, if it comes out of a can or it's frozen, you know, it's still food. You're still feeding your child. So let's reduce the guilt and just commend ourselves on getting yet another meal on the table.

Probably in record time, because you're racing around. So I hope that in our busy lives and in your busy life, that you are taking a moment for yourself, that you are mindful about comparisonitis and self-doubt and trying to, you know, squash that as much as possible because it doesn't serve us. I want you to feel great about, know, yourself. want you to feel great about how you're parenting your kids because

I'm sure you're doing the best you can in a busy life. know, most of us lead very busy lives. I don't meet anyone who doesn't tell me that they're busy. So even though I'm assuming that I'm pretty sure most of you are pretty busy. And I just want you to know that you're not alone if you feel like you're not doing well, but I just want you to try to focus on the things that you are doing well, because I'm sure there are a lot. And give yourself a pat on the back.

A Little Note to Wrap Up (37:33.994)
I hope that you did have a great Mother's Day and I hope that you feel very valued because I'm sure there are many, many, many things that you do for your family every day. There's a million things that go through your mind each day and it's just about making sure that we are being mostly positive with our thoughts, our mindset, which then translates to a happier family and approach to everything. And that includes how we feed our kids.

how we talk to them at meal times and how we behave as a parent, as a mum. And if you are feeling like you do really want support around feeding kids, then please know that that is exactly why I've created Nourishing Kids. So you can join and you can get the support you need instantly and you can find all the information in our show notes. I really like this quote. It says, there is no perfect mum, just a million imperfect, beautiful

tired women doing their best each day. And I really like that because I think that sums up a lot of us or most of us. And it's great because it's just acknowledging how hard it is, but what a great job we're all doing. yeah, even if you feel like you're not, I'm sure you are. Well done. You are enough. And I hope this episode has been helpful for you because I just wanted to dedicate it to all the mums because it's Mother's Day and we deserve it, right?

Sorry, dads. We do appreciate you too. But just not in this episode. All right, I'll wrap it up there. Have a great week and I can't wait to chat again soon. Bye for now.