Episode 16: Eating Out with Your Fussy Eater

Episode 16: Eating Out with Your Fussy Eater

If you want to make eating out with a fussy eater more enjoyable then this episode is for you!

I discuss the challenges of dining out with picky eaters and share my own personal journey eating out with my own fussy eater. The feelings of comparison, judgment, embarrassment and feeling like a failure - they are all very real, especially when all they want to eat is another bowl of plain pasta!

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Links
https://nourishwithkarina.com/feedingbabies
https://nourishwithkarina.com/3-week-feeding-kids-reset

Highlights:

Introduction (00:00.078)
Eating Out with Frustrious Eating Habits (00:28.238)
Feeling Like a Failure in Eating Out with a Frustrating Eating Habit (02:48.302)
Mother's Perspective on Children's Eating and Sleeping (05:10.958)
Parenting and Child Development: A Journey (07:29.838)
Nutritional Guidelines for Three-Year-Olds (09:48.526)
Understanding and Supporting Frustrious Eating in Children (12:10.03)
Feeding Plan for fussy eaters: A Workable Approach (14:34.094)

Show notes

READ TRANSCRIPT

Show Notes

If you want to make eating out with a fussy eater more enjoyable then this episode is for you!

I recently chatted with a mum who hesitates to dine out with her super fussy eater, a three-year-old with a penchant for plain white rice. Sound familiar?

I offer practical tips to navigate the challenges of eating out with fussy eaters. Discover how to focus on the positives, celebrate your wins, and create a positive feeding environment for your child.

Key Discussion Points:

1. Overcoming the fear of judgment and comparison when dining out with a fussy eater.

2. Shifting focus to the positives..

3. Embracing a nutritionally balanced week, rather than stressing over a single meal.

4. Practical tips for creating an effective feeding plan and turning dining-out disasters into successes.

5. The importance of socializing and connecting with other mums—don't let fussy eating hinder your enjoyment!

Ready to overcome dining-out dilemmas? Tune in to Episode 16 and gain valuable insights into navigating the world of fussy eaters.

If you're craving more tips and support, head to nourishwithkarina.com/membership and join the waitlist for my membership. Together, we'll make dining out with your fussy eater a stress-free and enjoyable experience!

Remember, you're not alone in this journey. Subscribe, leave a review, and join me in the next episode of The Easy Feed Podcast. Let's make mealtime enjoyable for both you and your fussy eater!

Learn more about my membership program, head over to: https://nourishwithkarina.com/membership

Introduction (00:00.302)
You're listening to the Easy Feed Podcast, episode number 16, Eating Out With Your Fussy Eater. Hi there, I'm Karina Savage and with over 20 years experience feeding children, including my own, I've learnt all the secrets that busy mums need to get their children eating better and actually enjoying healthy foods. So a huge welcome to the Easy Feed Podcast.

Eating Out with Frustrious Eating Habits (00:28.238)
Welcome, welcome, welcome back everybody. It's so great to have you here. Today's episode is all about eating out with fussy eaters. I have firsthand experience in this and there's a few words that come to mind when I think about this. Comparison, judgment, embarrassment, and feeling like a failure. These are all words that I associate with

eating out with a fussy eater. I've been there, I get it, it's not fun. I only had a mum a couple of hours ago that I was chatting to about this and she really did not want to go out with her three year old son who's a super fussy eater because all he ever wants to eat is white rice. And she's like, that's all he eats, he makes so hard to eat out and she chooses not to go out because of that.

I distinctly remember many meals when all my daughter would eat when we went out was plain pasta. Whenever we tried to give her anything else, it was a disaster. It literally ended in a disaster. You see, my daughter also had an incredible gag reflex. Like she was a super chucky baby and this gag reflex just stuck around. And if we would go out and try to encourage her to eat anything else,

It literally would end in her emptying her steak content in the restaurant. And it literally was a disaster. So got to the point where I'm like, you know what? She's just going to eat plain pasta. And that's what we're just going to have to be okay with because there was no other way that we were actually going to be able to get out and socialize and eat out with her. So sometimes you've just got to look at the big picture and go, you know, is this

such a big deal that we need to stop socialising or do we just need to go with it? I know that it puts a lot of mums off going out. I've worked for 21 years with mums of us eaters and I know that there's so many that choose not to go out for a variety of reasons. And I think definitely those four words do play a role. So comparison, judgment, embarrassment.

Feeling Like a Failure in Eating Out with a Frustrating Eating Habit (02:48.302)
Feeling like a failure. Certainly all of those words have been mentioned to me hundreds and thousands of times over the 21 years, because it's exactly how you are made to feel when you're eating out with a fussy eater. Well, not necessarily made to feel like that, but you naturally, or it's very normal to feel that way. Other people may not be necessarily intending for you to feel like that or even want you to feel like that. They probably don't. They probably want you to...

You know, you just enjoy your dinner, but it's really hard when you've got a fussy eater, especially when you've got friends whose kids eat really well. And naturally, it bothers you. It bothered me and it bothers so many moms. So if it's bothering you, you are totally not alone. I think it bothers us for a number of reasons. Firstly, because you want them to eat more than plain pasta or rice. Like you actually want them to have some other nutrition, some colour. And second, I think it...

I know it made me feel like a bad mom because when you compare what other kids are eating, they're eating all the veggies and your child isn't, you naturally feel judged. Even though they're not necessarily judging you, it's probably your own worry about what other people think. They may not even be thinking that, but you yourself, well, I know I felt this, I kind of felt like, well, what are they judging me? You know, what are they thinking about what my child eats? And certainly...

You know, if you're out with your parents or your in -laws that backwards in coming forwards about telling you about your fussy eater, it just makes things worse, doesn't it? It just reinforces that story in your mind that your child's a fussy eater, maybe that you're not doing well enough as a parent. So yeah, sometimes it's just our own stories that then we bring to the table, but it's enough to make, to put you off, it's enough to put you off wanting to go out for dinner. So if this is you.

I want you to realise that it is completely normal to feel this way when your child is fussy and super restrictive. It is completely normal to be put off going out. As parents, we all want our children to thrive. We want them to be nourished. We want them to be healthy. So when they're not eating the way that we want them to eat to be healthy, it then throws a spanner in the works and makes us feel worried. It makes us feel anxious. It makes us feel

Mother's Perspective on Children's Eating and Sleeping (05:10.958)
We're not doing the right thing. You know, what could we be doing better? How do we get our children to eat properly? Maybe we're not feeding them properly. Maybe we're not going about it the right way. All these stories and conversations in our mind come up and look, it's completely normal. You know, the number of mums that have told me over the years that in their mother's group, there's always the ones that are eating so well. And, and the, generally it's the mums of the kids that are eating really well or

sleeping really well. They're the ones that are talking all the time. It's, it's those ones that are the voice to the whole group, making the rest of the group inferior. Not necessarily meaning to intentionally, I guess they're just happy and really proud of their baby. You know, it might be the first one to introduce Solider, the one that's sleeping the best, but it's when you're in those situations, again, you've got moms that are

telling you how amazing their children are eating. And maybe, you know, by then, if you keep catching up with your mother's group, because I'm blessed to have had an amazing mother's group, I still have an amazing mother's group. And, you know, as they get older, you continue to meet up and you continue to chat. And it's always the ones that are doing really well that you're going to hear about, right? And they, they, without meaning to, can make you feel inferior and can make you feel like you're not doing a good enough job.

So I just want you to know that that is normal to be that way. And it's those that are eating super well and eating all the colours of the rainbow. That is not the majority. Trust me. So as mums, I think it's really important that we are more compassionate with ourselves. I know that it's very easy to be hard on yourself for all different things. My child had too much greens. My child's not eating properly.

My child's manners need to be better. You know, there's always room for improvement, but I don't think enough of the time we're celebrating all the things that we do do and all the amazing ways we help our children and all the amazing things that our children are. So I think it's really important again, when you're feeling

Parenting and Child Development: A Journey (07:29.838)
defeated by the way your child eats or especially if you're sitting, you know, in the cafe or the restaurant and again, they've just got another bowl of plain pasta in front of them. Try to focus on the other positives. So when you're sitting there in the restaurant or the cafe and again, your child is the one that just has that bowl of plain pasta in front of them. Try to focus on other positives and be grateful for other things because you know what? They'll get there one day.

Right now they're not there and that's okay. Try to focus on things like they're still growing well. They're doing so well with their, you know, sport or, you know, this is if they're like a five or a six year old or if they're younger, you know, maybe they're sleeping really well or maybe you go, you know what, you're, you're still tracking, you're still growing, you're still ticking all the boxes, you're meeting all your milestones. So being really grateful for those things. Maybe they're

becoming a beautifully mannered child. So focus on all the other ways that you're kicking goals as a parent and the ways that your child is kicking goals. And sure, they're still not there with their eating yet, but they will get there. It just might be months and years, right? This is a journey. I am very clear about the fact that this is a long journey and absolutely like in my program, in my Fussy Eater's program, the three week Beating Kids Reset.

We do turn things around quickly. In fact, it was only a mum today that I spoke to. She's like, yep, I've already watched the first two weeks and already we've changed lots and already we've seen success. So, you know, you can definitely have progress very quickly, but at the same time, if you're thinking about the pie in the sky, getting your child to eat all the colours of the rainbow, this is not a six month plan. This is like years in the making.

So when I spoke to this mum today and she was feeling quite defeated by her three year old fussy eater just having a bowl of rice every time they went out. In fact, I think she said that that actually stopped going out. I said to her, don't stop going out. It's really important that you're socializing. It's really important to enjoy meal times with your son, even if it's just a bowl of rice. And when we talked about everything else he ate, I said, look, let's think about it this way. He eats egg beans, he eats eggs, he eats avocado, he eats

Nutritional Guidelines for Three-Year-Olds (09:48.526)
couple of fruits. He eats cashews, he eats a hummus, he eats oats, he eats plenty of good nutritious foods. Yes, he's not there yet with veggies at dinner, but he'll get there and you know what, right now he's still okay. Nutritionally, he's still covered. I said this dinner time, it's one sixth of his day, right? So three -year -olds really have six opportunities to eat per day, five to six.

They've got little tummies. They need to eat every couple of hours. So it's more like five or six equivalent size meals. It's different to the way that adults eat. Adults tend to have three larger meals and maybe some snacks, whereas three -year -olds need to almost have five to six equivalent size meals to get them through the day. So I say, look, dinner is really one fifth or one sixth of their day. There's

plenty of other opportunities during the day to get nutrition into him. So if it's just rice at one of those out of five or six, don't stress. And this is probably not happening every single night anyway. And it wasn't, it was just when they were out. So I said, really, if it's one meal out of one week, that's really one forty second or whatever that is, one divided by forty two of the week. So let's not let that stop us going out.

and having social interaction, because that's really important as well. I always like to talk about a nutritionally balanced week rather than a nutritionally balanced day. Because let's be honest, really at the end of the day, the cavemen and cavewomen weren't getting everything that they needed within a day. It's a, it's a gradual thing. It's over the weeks and the months that you're eating everything to meet your needs.

So looking at your child's intake over a week versus a day or a meal is a much more sensible and stress -free way to look at it. So at the end of our conversation, this mum was feeling much happier and much more relaxed about the approach that she was going to take with her son. And I guess that's why I love to work with mums so much and help them to take the pressure off themselves.

Understanding and Supporting Frustrious Eating in Children (12:10.03)
and help them to recognise that one, they are doing everything that they can to help their fussy eater. Well, that's once they've worked with me and learnt all the secrets. Two, their child is still going to grow to their full potential. There's every chance, and this is backed up by the literature and the research, that fussy eaters will still grow to their full potential. 99 % of the time when I plot out fussy eaters on the growth charts,

They're within the healthy range for weight and height. So they're still getting enough calories and protein to grow. It's just that they live on a white diet, right? And they're, you know, potentially lower in some nutrients. And that's what their primary concern is for parents. Also, it's the fussy eating behaviors at the table that also drives everyone nuts. So I like to remind mums that number one, they're doing everything that they can once they know the proper plan. Two.

Their child is still likely to grow to their full potential and three that they are a great mom and that this is normal and they're a great mom. They're doing well. They don't need to feel like they're failing or has I've had so many moms say that to me, you know, in tears and you're not failing. If you feel that way, you're a champion. Keep going. They will get there. If you're sitting here thinking, yeah, Karina, but he actually eats plain pasta or rice every single day of

his or her life. Then again, don't stress, we can change it. As I said, once we set up an effective feeding environment, a plan to change it, it will have a dramatic impact. And you definitely have the skills to do it. I promise you actually just need to really step back, take a 30 ,000 foot view of what's going on in your current feeding environment and make some positive changes. Look.

the ladies that I worked with in my membership, the mums, we'd the other night and on a Zoom call. And one of the mums was, look, I, things have just gone backwards, right? Like it's just, he's now saying, I'm not doing this anymore. I'm just done. And we went, we dug deep into what she was giving him. And it ended up that she was, some meals, she was only serving up the foods that she wanted him to start.

Feeding Plan for fussy eaters: A Workable Approach (14:34.094)
eating and it wasn't any of his safe foods. So I said to her, right, we need to actually back up a bit. We need to kind of go back to what is a workable feeding plan and actually include the majority of his safe foods and include then a few test foods on the side. And look, me personally, I need to sometimes hear things five, six, 10 times before they sink in. And that's why it's good to have this sort of reinforcing a podcast and

And even in the membership, you know, I might say things and then, you know, on the third or fourth time it sinks in and then the penny drops and you're like, aha, okay, I've got it done. And then it works at home. So sometimes you need to hear things and do things multiple times before it actually then works. But just bear that in mind that you do want to keep putting the safe foods as well as the test fits on the plate, which is why at dinner time out in the restaurant, you're going to do the plain rice or the plain pasta.

with a few of the test foods on the side of their plate. So if you are wanting more support in this area, please jump onto the wait list for my membership and you'll be the first to know when it reopens. And you can find all of the details on that in the show notes, but you just need to head to nourishwithcarina .com forward slash membership. That's nourishwithcarina .com forward slash membership.

Okay, so the next time you're invited out to lunch or dinner with your friends or the family, but you decline because you just can't bear another meal out with your fussy eater, then please think of this episode. And as Nike says, just do it. Don't decline, go and have fun. And do you know what? If you're having fun and enjoying the meal, if your child is in a light, fun feeding environment, do you know what? They're actually likely to eat a whole lot better.

And as I said, moms need to connect with others, families need to go out and have fun and meals together, connect with other families. We all need to stay sane and we all need those social connections as well. Just try to leave any self -judgment, self -doubt or judgment of your child or comparison out of it because goodness knows as moms, we could do with less of that, right?

Okay, let's wrap things up for today. Thank you so much for being here. I love that you're loving these podcasts. So please leave me a review so that we can get this podcast out to more and more moms and subscribe. So have a great week. Bye for now.