Episode 5: Simplifying dinner time with fussy eaters

Episode 5: Simplifying dinner time with fussy eaters

Cooking multiple dinners for a family of fussy eaters is actually super common! ...and it can mean that we spend way longer in the kitchen that we'd like!

Today, I dived into how to plan dinner for your family without the need for multiple meal preparations.

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Links
https://nourishwithkarina.com/feedingbabies
https://nourishwithkarina.com/3-week-feeding-kids-reset

Highlights:

Planning Dinner with Frustrious Eating (00:01.358)
The Challenge of Adapting to Children's Nutritional Needs (02:20.27)
Overeating and Overeating in Children (04:38.83)
Parental Influence on Children's Food Exposure (07:02.574)
Creating a Healthy Meal Plan for Children (09:24.43)
Deconstructing Meals for Children (11:50.19)
Introducing Healthy Food Preparation for Children (14:10.862)
Building Children's Food Loathing Skills (16:38.222)
Understanding the Importance of Eating with Kids (18:56.686)
Starting Small with Children's Food Preferences (21:17.966)

Show notes

READ TRANSCRIPT

Show Notes

Cooking multiple dinners for a family of fussy eaters is actually super common! ...and it can mean that we spend way longer in the kitchen that we'd like!

Today, I dived into how to plan dinner for your family without the need for multiple meal preparations.

Here's a quick recap of what we discussed:

The Dinner Dilemma: A common struggle by parents cooking separate meals for fussy family members. Deconstructing Meals: How to create a dinner that means you only cook 1 meal. Learn how to save time, effort and dishes, whilst increasing your chances of them actually eating it. The Rotating Menu: I highlight the common cycle of serving only what fussy eaters will consume, leading to limited meal choices and potential health concerns. Smart Swaps: Find quick wins for substituting various parts of the meal that won’t see you spending more time cooking. Building Trust with New Foods: Discover the practical strategies for introducing new foods to your child’s diet without stress and resistance. The Power of Role Modeling: The significance of parents enjoying quality food and how it positively influences children’s eating habits.

No more cooking multiple dinners to suit fussy eaters. Listen to Episode 5 now to learn how to simplify dinner and spend less time in the kitchen.

Remember, the goal is not perfection, but progress. By implementing these strategies, you can create a mealtime environment that encourages your child to learn and eventually like new foods, while also enjoying meals you love yourself.

If you'd like to explore this topic further and access additional resources, check out my Nourishing Kids Membership below. Together, we can make feeding your kids a more enjoyable and less stressful experience.

If you found this episode helpful, don't forget to subscribe and share it with fellow mums who could benefit from these insights. Let's make dinner planning a breeze! Thanks for tuning in, and I'll catch you on the next episode.

Learn more about my membership program, head over to: https://nourishwithkarina.com/membership

Planning Dinner with Frustrious Eating (00:01.358
You're listening to the Easy Feed Podcast, episode number five. Hi there, I'm Karina Savage and with over 20 years experience feeding children, including my own, I've learnt all the secrets that busy mums need to get their children eating better and actually enjoying healthy foods. So a huge welcome to the Easy Feed Podcast.
This is a topic close to my heart, how to plan dinner with your fussy eater. I know so many mums that cook multiple meals for their family every single night, not because they want to, but because they feel they need to, so that their child will eat. Look, I'm guilty of this too, for sure. And it's frustrating on so many levels. Firstly,
It takes more ingredients and planning. Secondly, it takes more time. You know, you're spending a lot more time in the kitchen than you want to. Thirdly, it creates more dishes, which is a nightmare. And finally, it's going against how you think mealtimes should be, how you want mealtimes to be. I know this is a real thing because not only have I experienced it myself, and recently too, I must say.
But the hundreds and thousands of mums that I've worked with over the past 21 years have said similar things. They cook three different meals to suit all the different taste buds in their family. It could be their taste buds, their partner's taste buds, the various kids' taste buds. It's a nightmare. And as mums, we can spend way too long in the kitchen, much longer than we would like to. And...
Often this can lead to resenting spending time in the kitchen because we're just so done with spending all this time and effort and often it's, you know, for no good anyway, because they end up refusing food anyway. So it can be a really frustrating circle for moms. And I'm here to help make things a little simpler. But first of all, the story, one of my best friends, bless her, she often posts on Facebook.
The Challenge of Adapting to Children's Nutritional Needs (02:20.27)
and has done so now for many years with, you know, an update on the two or three variations or different dinners, I must say, that she cooks for her family on any given night. It's definitely a thing. And as I say, I've done it too. And I'm guessing that if you're listening, there's a chance that it has happened to you or it's still happening to you.
Now, I totally get why we do it. It's because we want our children to eat well. It's because we want them to get the nutrition that they need to thrive. And often we worry, or some mums really worry about whether or not their child's getting enough iron or vegetables for their immune system. You know, maybe there is a pre -existing deficiency that, you know, that adds to their worry, or maybe their child's underweight and that adds to their worry. So there's so many...
different layers and so many different factors that can play into our worry about our children's nutrition. And for this reason, we try our hardest to get them to eat. And that's why we sometimes forfeit our own, you know, time and energy to put into spending as long as it takes in the kitchen to try and get some food that they'll eat at the dinner table. So, you know, you've got many different taste buds to please, and it's really hard.
please them all. You know how many families I see that actually succumb to just eating what the bussy eaters will eat. And I've certainly experienced this in my own family for years there. I think we were on a bit of a rotation of home -edged schnitzels and pasta and rice and sausages and, you know, the deconstructed meals because that's what the kids will eat. And that is very normal. And that's a real reality for so many families. And I don't blame you. It works. It's a****.
easiest and you know, it's hard to get out of that, you know, cycle sometimes because you just do what works, what's easy and what's going to get them eating food. Now I recently saw a family that, and actually it's a mum, he's in my membership and now this doesn't happen, which is amazing. It happened, the transition happened very quickly, but she, when, when she joined, she was...
Overeating and Overeating in Children (04:38.83)
Eating what was a supermarket pizza and nuggets were the two options that they would eat at nighttime. The whole family was eating it because it was just one meal. And she was just so overeating supermarket pizza and nuggets for dinner, but that was all her son would eat. And now it's a, it's a whole new world's opened up and things are very different, which is amazing and, and happened very quickly. So I'm really proud of her, but you know, that is a reality for a lot of us and it's about how we can set up.
a meal time where you get to choose what you want to eat and you get to eat the food that you like. Because yes, schnitzel pasta and rice dishes are fine, but we don't want to be eating them all the time, do we? I definitely think fear plays into this and it certainly did for me. I was always worried that if I cooked a meal that I really wanted to eat and I served it up to my daughter that she wouldn't eat it, she'd refuse it. And so...
I basically had created a story in my mind and I basically ruined the meal time before I'd even tried to give her the food that I like. And I think that can often happen subconsciously for us without us even realising we write off a meal before it's even started. Perhaps before we've even prepared it, we're like, no, I'm not going to try that. Whereas if we go into it with a more positive mind and we go, you know what?
I'm going to eat this because I really love this food and I'm going to work out a way to give my child exposure to this food, but also have their safe foods that they can also enjoy in the same meal. That's going to be a much more positive feeding sort of plan for your child. And it's certainly going to help plant seeds and build familiarity and trust with the foods that you love and will get them eating those foods that you love much quicker.
And that's the plan that I'm going to talk about today. So how many times do you offer your child a food and they refuse it before you effectively blacklist it for them? I know I'm guilty of this again. I remember with my daughter, she hated tuna and she really didn't like tuna more than, and I think I must've tried it maybe only twice before, and she refused it twice. And then I went not trying it again.
Parental Influence on Children's Food Exposure (07:02.574)
And then my poor son, I think he only ever got exposed to Tuna Monet once because I never really cooked it because my daughter didn't like it. And I didn't give her enough exposures. I know that. And my son only got, I think, one exposure and now he's nine and he actually really enjoys tuna. And I think, wow, if I'd given him Tuna Monet a lot more as a child, he would have had tuna so much more often and Omega -3 so much more often. But I didn't do it because I...
had made a story out that my daughter didn't like, but I'd only given my daughter tuna more than twice. And really the research shows that I should have given it to her a lot more to build that familiarity and trust. And she probably would have eaten it after more exposures and after building trust in that food. You know, I didn't like coffee or wine the first 10 times I had it, but, or I tried it, but now I drink coffee and wine. Yeah. So, yeah, it takes time to.
learn to like a food and that's something to really be mindful of. When our children refuse food, we kind of draw a bit of a mental, you know, black cross next to that food or that dish, but really we should be trying to stay more open -minded because a couple of refusals is usually all it takes for us to sort of put that, you know, mental black mark next to that food's name in our brain, and sort of park it as a don't give it.
to them again, because they're just going to refuse it. But what if we can just keep it in the, you know, learning to like foods category and just keep offering it every now and again, because that's actually going to help them build familiarity and trust. And children will eventually eat foods when they've had that exposure. Children eat foods or learn to like foods that are familiar to them, are familiar family foods. And so that's why it's so important tha
We set up a feeding plan that doesn't just give them or throw them the food that they'll eat. So we're not just throwing them the pasta and nuggets and the schnitzels because that's what they'll eat. We set up a plan to, you know, expose them at a very small, unchallenging, you know, non -confrontational way so that they're not feeling overwhelmed or worried or anxious about it, but we're just exposing them in a very calm, positive way. And so that's...
Creating a Healthy Meal Plan for Children (09:24.43)
how we're going to get buy -in and how we're going to get them to like these foods over time. Okay, so how do we stop the hamster wheel of deconstructed meat, pasta, veggie meals for our family most nights of the week? How do we actually stop cook or how do we stop cooking very different dinners to suit all the different taste buds? Because we need to...
hopefully move to a plan that incorporates our own preferences, our own nutritious healthy foods so that we can get back to those foods and our children can see us enjoying those foods because when they see us enjoying food, it is so incredibly powerful at a subconscious level. It plants seeds that will eventually grow and mean that they move towards a place of liking and enjoying that food too.
And this is backed up in research, 100%. We need to eat and enjoy. And there's a nuance there between just eating the food and enjoying the food. There are those subconscious cues of enjoyment of the food. Powerful. Children are sponges. They absorb all of this, the conscious and the subconscious cues. And those subconscious cues that we exude when we eat and enjoy a food are picked up by the child. And that's going to move them much closer and more quickly to liking.
a food that we're enjoying than if we're just kind of just chucking a bit of broccoli in and not really enjoying it or not eating broccoli in front of them at all. So what if I told you that there was a simple way that we could reduce the amount of time you're spending in the kitchen and any resentment or get rid of any resentment towards cooking 15 different meals? I do focus on this a lot in my three -week feeding kids reset program, which is a part of my membership. And that definitely helps.
guide you as to how we move a child from not liking a food to learning and then liking a food. And so that's definitely something that is available to you. And you can learn more about my Nourishing Kids membership in the show notes. There's a link there. But today I do want to break it down for you a little bit and give you some tips on how we start to create a meal time where you're eating the food that you want to eat.
Deconstructing Meals for Children (11:50.19)
But your child is also going to eat food too and enjoying foods that they like. How do we work this out and still only effectively cook one proper meal? So here we go. I'd like you to think about a food that you really like or a meal, I should say, that you really like. For example, do you love like a Mediterranean chicken dish or a green chicken curry or a stir fry, for example?
Okay, let's go with the stir fry. So say you really love stir fry, you love putting lots of veggies in there and me and then you serve it with noodles. I want you to think about your stir fry. You would eat it mixed, but I want you to deconstruct it or whatever meal you have in your mind. I want you to deconstruct that meal into effectively thirds, the protein, the veggies and the carbohydrates.
Now the carbohydrate, I mean pasta or rice or bread or quinoa or couscous. So split it up. Okay. So however you eat it, it's mixed or for example, if it's a butter chicken and rice, you split it up, you've got the chicken, you've got any veggies you put in there and then you've got the rice. So split up your dish into those three categories. And that's how I would recommend.
feeding a child anyway, I would aim for a third protein, a third carbs and a third veggies as a dinner idea or as a dinner guide, I should say. So we've got this deconstructed meal. Then we need to work out what food substitutes we need for your child. Will your child eat that protein? No? Okay. What can we easily grab to substitute? So for example, they won't eat the meat from the stir fry.
great, we go grab a handful of nuts, as long as they're above the age of three and they're not at a choking risk. We go grab a handful of nuts or a couple of blobs of peanut butter or hummus to pop on the plate. We open a tin of tuna or baked beans. Or if you've got any leftovers, say chicken nuggets in the fridge, you pop some of them on the plate. So a simple protein swap. Okay. It's not a separate meal that you've cooked. So if they're not going to eat the veggies in the stir -fry, I don't like cooked veggies. Okay, fin
Introducing Healthy Food Preparation for Children (14:10.862)
So you put instead the veggies that they do like. Okay. So that might be chopped cucumber, could be corn, could be some jar olives, you know, whatever their safe vegetable is, you put that on the plate and those veggies from your stir fry, one of those veggies becomes a test food that you put in the learning bowl. And I'll talk a bit more about that in a sec. Okay. So we've got the protein sub.
If needed, the veggie sub, and that veggie sub could be frozen peas. It could be anything that your child will eat that is a vegetable or a salad. You put that on the plate instead of your stir -fried veggies. A carb sub, if they don't want the noodles, put a piece of bread on there. Put some pasta, put some crackers, put a bit of potato. Any carb sub is fine. Carbohydrate sub, I should say. So you sub in or out
of those thirds, basically. So the protein, the veggie, the carbs. If all they will eat is a Vegemite sandwich, that's what goes on their plate. And then what you do is you put some of those test foods or your food, so a tiny bit, a teaspoon of your meat and a teaspoon of one of your stir -fried vegetables, it could be the broccoli, on a little side learning plate or bowl. Now look, if they will tolerate that,
on your, on their actual plate. Amazing. That's what you want to aim for. But if they won't, if they don't want to, if they're going to lose it, if it's on their actual plate, put it on a little side learning plate or bowl. And that's really there for them in their table setting to have a go at, you know, have a go at it. You might like to try it because you might like it one day, you know, takes a while for our taste buds to learn to like foods, really taking the pressure off. And I'm going to talk about pressure in a whole different episode.
And, and obviously I've got a lot of ways to talk about food at the dinner table. In my membership portal, you've got all those PDFs available for you. And if you missed a bit earlier, I mentioned that the link to my Nourishing Kids membership is in the show notes. But it's very important that we've got those test foods, a teaspoon of each, just two teaspoons on the side learning plate. And the other important thing is that we have a little no thank you bowl, or a spit bowl.
Building Children's Food Loathing Skills (16:38.222)
So it's giving our children the opportunity to spit it out. And this is really powerful because if they have the opportunity to spit it out, they are much more likely to put it in their mouth to try it in the first place. So it's helping move them from a place of, yuck, I don't like it, to, I'm going to put it in my mouth and try it and spit it out. I'm going to put it in my mouth and chew it and spit it out.
And then eventually put it in my mouth and swallow it and not spit it out. But having that out, having that spit bowl, that no thank you bowl is really powerful. Also with that test bowl or learning bowl with the test foods, you may wish to put toothpicks in it or forks in it. If your child doesn't like to touch the food, other children will like to touch the food. I had a child the other day said to me, I like, he was, he was quite insightful. Actually he was older, he was 12 and he said, I like to touch the food because it makes me trust it more. So he was very sensory.
So that is the plan. That is how we set up a one -dish dinner, including taste preference substitutes, so factoring in those taste preferences for other members of the family. But as I said, it's really important and really powerful for children to see their parents enjoying quality food or enjoying food because
that is going to move your child closer to eventually eating that food as well. And if it's yummy, healthy food that you enjoy, then they will hopefully enjoy it too one day because they're seeing you enjoy it and those subconscious cues are very powerful. It's all planting seeds. And look, there are other ways that you can plant seeds. Absolutely. The more exposure that your child has will build familiarity and trust. It plants seed, all these little activities plant seed. So it might be that they help.
chop up some broccoli for the stir fry and he said, buddy, you don't have to eat it, but can you just help chop it up for me because I need to put it in my stir fry. And again, it's just taking that pressure off, but getting them involved and engaged. You know, might be cutting herbs into a pasta sauce, but all of these touch points in a non -pressurised environment help build familiarity and trust and it will help them eventually like that food. And I...
Understanding the Importance of Eating with Kids (18:56.686)
I really love the terminology, learning to like a food rather than, you're fussy, will you just eat it? It's good for you because it really changes the mindset. It's much more positive growth mindset. It's okay if you don't like it today. You're still learning to like it. I taste buds take a while to get used to these foods. Sometimes you'll get there. That's a very different story, a much more positive story than, stop being so fussy. We just eat it. It's good for you.
But we tend to fall back to that, you know, well, some of us do, I'm not judging and there is no judgment because it's so damn hard sometimes feeding kids. But sometimes we fall back to perhaps a not as good way of talking about food rather than using more positive terminology. Now I know what some of you are thinking. We don't eat with our kids and there are many families like this. So please again, don't feel guilty. There is no judgment, but..
If possible, if one of you could eat with the kids earlier, then amazing because this role modeling is so powerful. It's really powerful and it's really important. You know, if we can not wait for dad to get home from work and eat with, you know, your partner instead eating with the kids early, then, then that will be much better for the kids. And I get it. Not always are you going to have your meals ready by the time the kids want to eat.
But even if you can eat, say, some leftovers from the night before, or just a little entree plate, something that you want to eat just a small amount with the kids. And again, they still have their little, you know, test foods on their side learning plate. And they're things, they're foods that you're eating on your plate because spending that time with them is really powerful. And not just because you're role modeling healthy eating behaviors, you're spending time with them, connecting with them at meal time. So.
I'll leave that with you to chew on for a little while, pardon the pun, because yeah, it's something that if you can, you know, eat with your kids a couple of times a week, you know, if, if currently it's not happening at all, happening at all, if you can move to like, you know, three times a week or four times a week, or just start with the weekends, start somewhere and try and build from there. So today we've talked about cooking one dinner and then subbing in and out.
Starting Small with Children's Food Preferences (21:17.966)
the various food groups according to your child's taste preferences. So why don't you give it a go? It won't be perfect, but it never is. And perfection is not the goal here. It's starting small, just starting somewhere, one step in front of the other, one foot in front of the other, building momentum, celebrating the small wins, lowering our expectations. And that's the way that we're going to get there. We will.
So wrapping things up, thanks so much for being here. If you like what you hear, please make sure you subscribe to this podcast. And once you've listened to a few, if you've really received some value, please leave me a review so that it helps get this podcast out to more people. Bye for now.